I’m generally a pretty happy guy, but like the rest of you, there are things that just get on my nerves, especially on our road ways. These are a few of the ones that have plagued me lately.
Motor Homes
When did the American public think it would be a great idea to pack all of their belongings into a mobile monstrosity and take to the roads? It’s like the offenders woke up one day and said, “I want to piss off the rest of the American motorists.” What better way to do so? Pack all of your crap into a giant, slow-moving, gas-guzzling, white-trash moving machine and drive 20 mph under the speed limit, clogging up traffic.
Pack a tent, rent a hotel. It’s cheaper and more fun. There’s no reason to bring your entire kitchen dinette with you on your vacation. At the very least, if you’ve gotta compress your white trash nature into the confines of a mini mobile home, drive the freakin’ speed limit.
Horse Trailers
What could be worse than the aforementioned motor home? Horse trailers. Stupid, slow-moving, foul-smelling horse trailers. “Hey, let’s go 45 mph down the interstate and see how much we can clog up traffic! Say, you’re right, this sounds like a great idea to piss people off!”
Not only do they have the gargantuan trailer, but they’ve gotta have the diesel one-ton spewing foul nitrous oxides into the air. What could be worse? Oh yeah, towing your horse trailer behind the motor home.
Sedate the horse, hang it from the rafters – I don’t care; do what you have to do to be able to drive the speed limit. Buy a motorcycle, ride an ATV, they’re both faster than the horse and they don’t poop.
In China, they don’t tow the horse, they eat it.
Truck Nuts
Could this product scream white trash America any more? As if your truck wasn’t repulsive enough, you’ve gotta go hang a pair of testicles from it. Why don’t you just skip the bullshit and plaster a some “Death to towelheads” and “GWB for life” bumper stickers on your truck? Truck nuts are why the terrorists hate us.
It’s not funny, it’s not clever, it’s just stupid and embarrassing for the rest of us. Unfortunately, kicking your truck in the nuts doesn’t quite have the same effect as kicking you in the nuts, which needs to be done.
Thankfully, some of the American public is lashing out against your truck nuts. Ironically, the state shaped like a giant cock, has banned the display of truck nuts:
Let’s hope the rest of the country follows suit.